For centuries, women have been seen as Water Carriers, both solid earthen vessels, and portals to the deep wells of wisdom. From where I stand now on the high mountain of my home on Salt Spring Island, overlooking the abundant waters of the Salish Sea, I look back and ponder how I got here.
Did I always know that I come from a long line of sacred feminine wisdom?
When did I first taste the deep wells of intuition and abundance that I can tap into when needed?
The most profound and deepest message I received during a deep transformative dive into my soul waters was this: “You have the power to heal yourself.” It was immediately clear that the message was not only for me, but for each and every one of us.
That moment was followed by a potent healing journey that is still present today. I sometimes wonder if one can ever feel fully healed. I realized a while ago that the healing journey is like a river flowing through many landscapes, sinking down into deep underground reservoirs, grinding down layers of stone, bubbling up into healing springs, rushing over precipices, roaring like vast oceans, yet always, always flowing home.
Stories are like water cycles, and mine is no different. I traveled through deep waters to get here, and my journey is not over, but spirals inwards and outwards offering ever-new challenges and gifts. But fear not: the Universe generally only gives us as much as we can handle at any moment. A deep, dark well or raging storm at times, but we can get through it. Just keep navigating the waters of your precious life.
There is ‘an image you were born with’ as David Whyte writes in his poem, All the True Vows, that holds a promise that will kill you to break, a truth about the work you have chosen…It’s a powerful poem. My image is surely that of the Ocean, the mother of all waters. It is no surprise that Yemanja, a West African goddess of the seas that I first encountered during my shamanic studies in Brazil, is one of many guides that appeared to me during my journey.
I will never forget, years earlier, the first time I truly knew the ocean. Born in land-locked Hungary, the ocean was a distant mirage that I deeply longed for. Ever since I was very young, I yearned to be near water. Growing up, the nearest big body of water was a large lake, Balaton, which was a 3-4 hour drive away. We only visited it a couple of times while growing up. In the summertime, I yearned to spend every waking hour at the ‘Strand’, a kind of water park of fountains and concrete pools, from cold water ones for swimming to hot water for soaking and everything in between. I dreamed of being immersed in water, and drove my parents crazy with my extra long showers. I longed to be held by the luxury of the endless ocean.
Finally, when I was about 9, we crossed three countries to get to the Bulgarian seaside to spend two glorious weeks of beach camping holidays with another family and their children. I was in heaven. I can still remember how much fun we all had. I recall the touch of the fine, warm sand, the salty water on my body, the ocean smell in my nostrils, and the promise held in the seashells I collected and took home.
At 13, an astounding gift arrived, in the form of a kind man, Yvonne and his family. My mother had a shop in our town, where she sold traditional embroidery and handmade folklore items. I spoke excellent English and enjoyed chatting with the tourists that visited. That year, I connected instantly with Yvonne, who somehow guessed that I longed to travel away from the tight dimness of communist Hungary and he invited me the following summer to adventure, and to finally meet the Atlantic Ocean.
I spent 3 unforgettable weeks with his step daughter, wife and he in their luxurious home in the Pyrenees, taking road trips to the West Coast of France. We visited Bayonne, Biarritz, Bordeaux, and drove up the coastline from the South of France to La Rochelle. I had finally met the bountiful, beautiful ocean of my dreams. The memory that stands in stark contrast to the modest beaches of Bulgaria, was a 2-day stay with some friends in La Rochelle. There we visited a fresh fish market, bought and cooked up an abundant seafood feast. It was a meal that was simply unattainable in my home town of Eger in Hungary. They taught me how to eat mussels and clams from the shell, and we laughed and played games, seeing who could eat the most, and piling up the empty shells in mountains beside our plates. I have never felt so free.
I had my first sumptuous taste of the West. French culture was joyous, free and abundant, the beaches sparkling clean, the homes warm and colourful. Life seemed so much more beautiful than I could have imagined.
A seed, like a tiny grain of sand in an Oyster shell of my heart, had begun its journey to becoming a pearl. I knew one day, I would live beside the ocean. I knew I would travel West.
I continued to correspond with Yvonne for almost 10 years; he was a psycho-analyst and a generous philanthropist. I realize looking back what an important early mentor in my life he was. I learned so much from him through his actions and zest for life and a deep love for fun and adventure. At some point we lost touch, and years later, when I looked him up, I discovered his obituary and was deeply sad. I can only hold the memories of a mentor who saw me, and responded to my yearning, someone who blew magic onto the promises inside the seashells I had collected and the handful of sand from the Atlantic Ocean that I brought back home with me to remind me of the sounds and smells of those beaches. Perhaps it was then when I first recognized the role of a mentor, who can not only support, but look deep into and recognize gems inside others.
Fast forward to 23 when I arrived in Vancouver, Canada. It was a delight to be surrounded by the ocean every day, the rivers of the mountains, the waterfalls and pristine lakes of beautiful British Columbia. Shortly after immigrating, I met my husband, Marius. We began our life together in North Vancouver where our two children were born between the forests and the beaches of the Coastal Mountains. Becoming a mother is the most sacred and transformative journey of my life through which I learned to honour my own path while nurturing and holding space for the souls my husband and I brought into this world. I couldn’t imagine this voyage of parenthood without Marius, a solid, supportive and deeply intuitive partner and father.
This is when we both consciously stepped into our self healing journey. It was also here, where my love for Feng Shui started in 2002, when out of curiosity I took my first class. I never looked back, the wisdom of Feng Shui has been with me ever since. Amazingly I learned that my Feng Shui element is Water.
Around that time I began to dip into meditation, dowsing, past life regressions, crystal work for healing, experienced sound healing and shamanic journeying. Life was full raising two little ones, yet my drive to go deeper into the esoterics was insatiable.
On a more practical level, after graduating from two different colleges with diplomas: one in Business Administration and Computing, and the other in Web Programming and Graphic Design, I taught project management and programming for one of the colleges I’d attended. After the birth of my son, pulling from my years of experience as an executive assistant for a European multinational, then programming at a well established firm, and a start up in Vancouver, I became an entrepreneur. I ran a successful web and graphic design company, braiding together my intuitive, caring nature with my corporate experience and technical skills serving small companies in the Lifestyle of Health and Sustainability industry.
A few years later my husband’s work took us down to California, where we lived half an hour from the beautiful beach playground of Santa Cruz. Our kids grew up enjoying the California lifestyle, we made many friends, and I was strongly involved as a volunteer in the Hungarian community. We enjoyed an abundance of travel and play.
It was also there that plant medicine called me deep into the jungle and medicine work has been a major ally ever since. I finally accessed the traditions and rituals I’ve been carrying within me for all this time and learned to honour the internal waters of women’s wisdom. I was invited by a medicine woman to become a Moondancer, and after a 4-year journey I became a Pipe Carrier from the OllinthlahuiMetztli Moondance of Teotihuacan, Mexico, which is an Aztec lineage. I’m also carrying the medicine of the Temazcal (sweatlodge) from this tradition.
During this time, I also had the good fortune to train personally with a Mongolian Shaman and also shamans from African and Kogi traditions. I feel very blessed to have been doing this work since 2012. It is a big part of my life, and many of my earth-based rituals build on these studies and experiences.
While deep in the jungle in Brazil, I discovered that I have a gift for aura and energy reading and to the encouragement of my teacher, I dedicated 4 years of my life to train with her in person and graduated as a Certified Aura Reader. It has contributed enormously to becoming a catalyst in so many people’s lives and their healing.
In 2015 we got to experience Family Constellations, a modality that had likely the biggest contribution on our combined family’s lineages. We immediately felt that a few sessions not only helped bring relief to our children and ourselves, but to our ancestors as well. I have been following the two facilitators, Dr. Dan Booth Cohen and Emily Blefeld of Seeing With Your Heart. In 2020 I started an intense 4-year training with them to become a Certified Family and Systemic Constellations Facilitator and am still privileged to work with them in their various programs.
Other amazing finds while in California were ecstatic dance (5 Rhythms) and Holotropic Breathwork, which also contributed to my self-healing. I discovered tapping (EFT) and started my herbalism studies and medicine making. As a long-term lover of creating beauty, I have always been passionate about making a beautiful home wherever we live, and have expressed my creativity through a variety of different mixed media arts.
Finally, after nearly a decade, we decided to return to the Pacific NorthWest, but knew in our hearts that the city was getting too busy and crowded.
We chose Salt Spring Island, a Southern Gulf Island, where we now live. We discovered this gem a long time ago, when we had visited it one rainy November before our children were born in one of those necessary accidents: our vacation to Cuba had been canceled due to a hurricane. Very last minute we booked into a cozy chalet on Salt Spring recommended by friends. It rained non-stop, but we had a Jacuzzi plumbed with hot spring water from deep within the land. Can you imagine my husband and I cocooned in this lovely space surrounded by nature, fire roaring in the woodstove and rain drumming on the roof? We delved into each other’s waters and really deepened our conscious healing journey together. It is still the river that encircles us all these years later.
We fell in love with Salt Spring then, and it was an obvious choice all those years later to settle here with our family.
It was also on this blessed island on that very first visit that we discovered the magical world of tarot…
We now enjoy living close to Mother Earth, garden on our beautiful land, connect with organic farmers and the delicious food they produce, fantastic chefs and artists, dear friends from all walks of life we share different interests with. We feel deeply grateful for the meandering river of life that blessed us with our deep sense of place and purpose. Looking back from this place in my life, I see the vista of the Salish Sea, and know that water has called me since the beginning and carried me along like an underground stream.
I have come to understand that my gifts are as multi-faceted as water in its many forms: river, ocean, rain, snow, ice, mist. I see that the waters both carry us and work on us with their constant waves, flow, storms, shaping rocks and rounding pebbles into sand ever finer and more sparkly.
I am ever so grateful for all the teachings in my life (and previous lives), all the challenges I have had to face, and all the ancestors, guides, teachers, mentors and mystics who came before me and whose shoulders I stand on. With their blessings I walk my path and do my work in the world.
Thank you for your curiosity…I’d be delighted to get to know you. Feel free to check out my Bio, see the services I offer, or book a Free Discovery Call. Looking forward to meeting you soon. Infinite Blessings.
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